The walk back home

Saturday, May 14, 2011

It is a amazing how one man can ignite in you feelings of such different spectrums.

Oscar Wilde is a man I love to love and yet a man I love to hate.

I love him for his talent, genius and wit—displaced or not. If one would ever describe the highest literary work as having gold on every page, this is man that could boast of bearing gold out of his mouth! He is so extremely quotable and noteworthy (imagine this:

Lord Douglas senior: You are in the gutter and you are dragging my son along as well!

Wilde: [without missing a beat]We are all in the gutter sir, but some of us are looking up at the stars.) that it would be a lifelong entertainment to converse with him for a lifetime.

And how quoteworthy yet how detestable is this: I put my genius into my life, only my talent into my writing. Indeed what a genius is this man as to live a tragedy out of his very life. Perhaps it is most un-genius of him to put his genius into his life. A play bears editing and revision, but one’s life could not. Our lives are not just merely plays or dramas or (horrors of horrors) manifestations of mere wit. Our lives are testament to our existence and it is our lives that we take away even if it is our works that we leave behind. Selfish it may seem, but I would want to take away something beautiful—not just for a singular moment—but for a lifetime. I want to lead a life worthy of living and worthy of God (religious contentions are to be minimised considering that no one could charge Wilde on this very basis). And so for the timebeing, I would only put my genius (should I ever have one) into a blogpost.

On a scale of one to ten, I love Wilde at eleven.

And I hate Wilde at eleven too.

Perhaps it is a relief that they are not at five and a half each.

With such convoluted(‘s the word) mindsets should I proceed to write my Literarture essay assignment on his life.

Labels: The Mind

Saturday, May 14, 2011;

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

It's a wonder how looking at your friends' blog could possibly make you decide to re-enliven yours too. This blog of mine has been too dead for far too long and I had might as well relive with it--the perfect option to prove that I am not the laziest bum on earth. And since I have never gotten rid of the problem of not knowing what to type on this blog, I have decided to write something definitely not from me.

人死了，灵会飞到哪儿？

不管你的灵飞到哪里，我都会去找你。

我常想，若那日你没把那枚银子送给我，我们的命运今天会是什么样子。因为自从你把那银子送给我，我就不知不觉地被你吸引。我曾问过自己，像你外表这么冷冷冰冰的男人，我到底看上了你什么呀。但我知道冷冷冰冰只是你的外表，其实你内心是多么渴望有人能够好好爱你。

我不是一个贪心的人。在汉口的时候，我从不去抢不去偷不属于我的东西。但只要是为了你，哪怕只有一次要我再偷再抢，我都愿意。跟你比起来我是这么的渺小，但只要你愿意，我会竭尽我的一切完全给你。

－《无间有爱》

Certainly this does not amount to the best crafted speech on air, but it is so genuine, so heartwarming and so TERRIBLY SINCERE that it never fails to make me tear. Love the show for its really genuine speech

this is certainly not the original wording and this just further persuades me to re-watch the show again to get the wording 100%. but for now it is along this line.

Labels: somehow i have no idea what to post

Tuesday, May 10, 2011;

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

My blog has been in an extremely queer period of time. I have no idea what to do with it and the theme of going back home just kind of struck up... And before I even wonder about going back home, what is going home to me? Physically, I am at home...dont get me wrong. I am not a lost lonely young girl going around looking for something. But I am looking for a setting--a setting where I could be comfortable in. A setting where i would love to be in. The truth is I am trying to find out what a home is, and what encompasses on the journey back home. I am incapable of writing something philosophical-sounding, nor am I interested to awe myself even with concepts that I trly do not understand. I just want to find a way back where i can define what home is. That way, I can live there and never go.

People are fascinated with leaving home, some with changing homes. Home is perhaps a place to return to--a place where you will never go too far away from--where you will always have to return--where your heart and mind will always have to return. That is my first definition--to return home, to walk the way back home.

Labels: first for 'the way back home'

Wednesday, September 01, 2010;

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Disappointment, regrets and nothing less than an Advanced Lit. paper. Yet what exactly coils the term regret? For what I felt today may not entirely have been regret. After all i could not possibly have known that Free Indirect Discourse could not be used in my stand of Emma not always being Emma.

What is regret anyway? The knowledge of doing something wrong in the beginning all towards the end. The consciousness of your mistakes even at the start. The wish to never have taken the first step even when your feet just touched the ground. Of utmost importance here is the mentality in the beginning. Do you know it?

I never knew. Never until today when the mistake has been done. The stake is high--does that compromise it to a regret? Perhaps I had regretted that I had not read about this earlier. And I would regret not learning about everything in the world by now.

Thursday, August 19, 2010;

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Does this mean that I am less satisfied these days? I used to be amazed at they sky for simply hours...just staring and forgetting everything that ever happens to me. Now, I bring burdens into my sky-gazing. I no longer feel as carefree now. A plain blue canvas would always interest me. The emptiness is great like as though I could reach up to it anytime. Imagination runs wild before an empty block of space. I wonder many times, how many people are looking up at the sky at the same time as me? 但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。-苏轼（水调歌头）
But now, instead of inspiring me to soar up high, the emptiness makes me bored. Does this mean that I no longer find satisfaction in my life? Am I quiet of comeliness and emptiness? Or am I so burdened that emptiness can no longer fill my life? I only wish to go back in time--to emptiness

Labels: the little girl at the sky

Thursday, June 17, 2010;

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

It may seem fortunate to some or 'just lucky' to others but to us, it is an answer to every prayer of ours. God certainly watched over us greatly these 5 days.
1) The Weather
Who would have thought that God would clear the sky and rain for us on the first 4 days and have it rain on the 5th day when we had nothing planned. God blessed us the most on the 3rd and 4th day when we got to see the long sought after Mount Fuji. OUr tour guide had told us that there were those who came to Japan 4 times to see the most frequently captured mountain but to no avail. And to imagine coming to JApan once and to see it straight after. And we did not see it ONCE but TWICE. We caught an evening portrayal of Mount Fuji on the evening of the 3rd day. In the morning of the 4th day, we did not get to see Mount Fuji among the heavy morning mist at the lake Asahi where the best view should be. We were not undisappointed but prayer certainly works. Those who have faith in the Lord will gain their rewards. We went to the Peace Park later in the afternoon. It was supposedly a temple that our family was not that keen to visit. Besides that venue was famous for cherry blossoms that had long withered and there was indeed nothing worth noting there, we initially thought. It was at Peace Park that we saw Mount Fuji. First covered by clouds and as the clouds moved away, the whole of Mount Fuji was seen. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'; it seemed distinctly clear by eye but upon on the camera screen, only a plate of white could be captured. Most infuriating certainly but we later gave up trying to take a photo of it and learn to satisfy with a memory so distinct yet consciously temporary. But what I was certain was the eternity of the one similarity in all of God's creation--beauty reflected by the greatness of the Lord.

Labels: How great is my God

Wednesday, June 16, 2010;

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I am back from Japan!!! And similarly, I got all the memories snapped up. How I wish it would be in Polaroid pictures though. Anyway, I have decided to, instead of running through the events that happened day after day like how my sister would be blogging about though I think it would be easier just to scan the travel catalogue in, blog about the differences in Japan and Singapore. Many times, after travelling to so many countries, the excitement dies away. Its like we are just going again to another country. The preparation mounts up to adrenaline but when you are finally there, its like just normal. Sometimes, after I am back from other countries, I wonder about the difference.
So I believe that the one thing that makes you remember about a particular place to fly to is the difference it has. ANd I do know that physically it is totally different from Singapore. THe buildings are different, I took a plane, the people are different. Yeah...I know but what should be noted, I believe, or at least closest to worth noting is the cultural difference--the difference in the atmosphere, the people's mindests and beliefs, the patterns in structures. it makes you feel like you are in an entirely different place. So here it is:
1) Densely populated!!!
If you think that Singapore is densely populated, think again. This place is ultimately crazy with more than 3 million people switching stations at Shinjuku station and with zebra crossings that go in all directions like your cross junction for cars. And when that happens, you just go crazy with the hundreds of people swarming pass to you. Still its amazing how there are never theives stealing from your bags. I happened to be extremely weary with my bag when I was in the middle of heads everywhere but surprisingly, nothing happened. Thank GOd the place is pretty safe.
And there is always Disneyland where you can expect to go at none of the rides considering the huge crowd there everytime!!!!!
2) Infinitely loyal
This group of people visit their country's tourist attractions more than any other country's. This is the explanaiton behind the 25 year survival of their Disneyland. You will see more Japanese than tourists at Disneyland. There are those who buy tickets just to watch the Disney parade or go for a single ride!
And everywhere I go, even Mount Fuji, they are all filled with Japanese--locals itself.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010;